11:02pm: FINAL SCORE: The next episode, +infinity over this one; Lane: +1 visit to the doctor’s office; Joan: +1 cheap pregnancy storyline.
This season is shaping up to be a disaster. Matthew Weiner might intend Don’s independence and personal destruction to play out so pathetically, but frankly, I could care less. I want brask Don back. Who cares if his character develops? And where are the actual clients? The business of advertising is far more interesting than the personalities behind them. Their personalities can show through in business, so why leave the office? Lane had a much better time at his desk crunching numbers than he did getting belittled by poor comedians. I want SCDP to get back to work. Maybe they will in 1965. If they don’t, I might need to live in the present Sunday nights going forward.
11:00pm: Lane, ever the accountant, will indeed pay Don for his “welcome distraction” with the fake Barnard student. I like Columbia blue.
10:59pm: Yes, the 20-something woman would like the 50-year old with thick glasses and no romance, please.
10:53pm: I’m seeing a commercial for AMC’s umpteenth rebroadcasts of For Love of the Game, and I’m thinking, “You know, I’d rather be watching that now.” Why can’t we see Don with some clients? Working on ad campaigns? There is no “ad” in Mad Men. Marketing! Sales! Advertising!
10:51pm: So Lane’s also separated, yet his separation is professional and doesn’t contaminate the office. Or the show.
10:47pm: Don, Lane, and the sandwich are at Godzilla.
10:44pm: Drew Barrymore and the Mac guy are in another movie together because they’re dating. Did you ever see “He’s Just Not That Into You?” I was just not into it. Ha. Yeah, that was about as funny as this movie will be.
10:42pm: Lane offered Don a large sandwich. Just saying.
10:39pm: Did Joan just cut herself to get Greg’s attention?
10:33pm: Hey, Peggy’s here, and he got Joan a gift! Roses! They’re beautiful! They’re from Lane. Gross. Egregious.
10:31pm: The Lipitor commercial again with the kid, the kid who calls his father’s heart attack “a rough time.” Lipitor is not for everyone, including people with emotions.
10:29pm: Or maybe he won’t. If Don had terminal cancer, he would have told Ann about her terminal cancer.
10:27pm: Question: would I want to know if I had terminal cancer? Would it change the way I live my life? Maybe it would increase my courage. Ann’s about to find out from Don/Dick, so let’s see how she reacts.
10:22pm: Distracted by the Red Sox-Yankees game. Ann has cancer or something. Awful background music, Don staying awake until dawn, etc. Very arty segment. And he’s repainting her living room in his boxers. That’s what Don Draper does.
10:20pm: Don to Stephanie from South Pasadena: “You’re so beautiful…and young.” I want to return this Don Draper to sender. Maybe Don can take Ann’s cancer.
10:17pm: Stephanie from South Pasadena opts to hitch home rather than getting a ride with Don, stating that she’s likely safer hitching. Where was Charles Manson at this time? Ah well, they’re driving back together anyway after the commercial.
10:14pm: Don knew from the minute he told Betty about his past that she never wanted anything to do with him again, which is why he didn’t tell her. This is a productive idea; hide the truth until it bubbles up into something irrecoverable.
10:11pm: The secret is out! Don went to CCNY, where he majored in pollution (per Stephanie). Or something.
10:09pm: While visiting the first Mrs. Draper, Don meets Stephanie of South Pasadena. Yep, casual reference. On the plus side, Don/Dick has another teenager to swoon over.
10:06pm: Joan attempts to win over Pryce with the subtle mention of a chicken’s body part. Sadly, chickens don’t eat chickens.
10:05pm: “So, what will you be doing?” She’s going to New Jersey! Exciting. Better than diamond Don.
9:30pm: Tonight’s episode needs to take Don Draper out of his holiday funk. I’ve been disappointed by the quality of the show in these first two episodes. It’s not that the characters are changing — they’re just not consistent, period. If a client asks Roger Sterling to debase himself, he should do it and do it willingly. He’s a salesman, period, and he’ll do anything it takes to get the sale. Mad Men is better than this, and it needs to prove it tonight.